Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when
you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I
married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Marriage is
an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman
gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying"
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
country, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was
until I got married; and then it was too late."
Married life is frustrating. The first year of marriage, the man speaks
And the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice."
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends
Up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have
mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the
friend. The woman replied, " A billionaire".
God says to Adam, "What would you like in a wife?" "Hmmm," says Adam,
"I'd like her to be the most beautiful creature in the world. I'd like
her to do whatever I tell her to. I'd like he to work hard, be smart,
enjoy being with me." "Hmmmm", God says, "I can do it, but it'll cost
you an arm and a leg." "Oh," says Adam, "Well what can I get for a rib?"
