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JOKES

A man went to the zoo.
The only animal at the zoo was a dog.
It was a Shitzu.

In Vietnam this year they won't be hanging any Christmas lights.
They are, however, planning to hang a bit of Glitter.

Lady: Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
Man: No..
Lady: Then you're not allowed to use my toilet!

What is an Aussies perfect view? A Pom swimming out of Sydney Harbour
with a Kiwi under both arms.

Why do guys pee on trees in the garden at parties? Because the toilet is always occupied with someone throwing up.

Male Aussie foreplay1 - Brace yourself
Male Aussie foreplay2 - Promise to make you a cuppa after.
Male Aussie foreplay3 - Nudging the girl with his elbow asks Are you awake.

Elton John walks into a tattoo studio and says to the tattooist i want a picture of a Rolls Royce on my peni5
the tattooist replies wouldn't you be better of getting a Landrover considering all the shit it's gotta go through

A father in a hurry to get his young son to school, made an illegal U turn
to save time. Oops said father I just made an illegal turn. Son pipes up and says That's ok dad, The police car behind us just did the same thing.